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Ruffling Feathers~(BLOG)

Ruffling Feathers~(BLOG)

Stages Of Grief

Posted on 3 December, 2021 at 21:30

Stages Of Grief

These are the stages of grief that from my own experience really need to be in their own stage and there is actually more than 5-7. On my journey, I have found that there are 12 and they ebb & flow in waves and you are never really done the grief process. You just learn a new normal and a new way of being after you experience grief. It profoundly changes you and sometimes you never realize it until years later. The one myth is 'Get over it that isn't true and actually that way of thinking will get you stuck in one or more of these stages of grief. Another myth is there is a time limit which I like to call "B.S" on that one. This is a personal experience that is yours and is your own personal one that I want you to remember is not right or wrong. As long as, you are doing your grief in a healthy healing way and process forward then you will get through this. Now let's go through the 12 stages of the grief journey.

Grief comes in all different ways that a lot of people associate it with a loss/death only, however, we deal with grief in so many other ways & other areas of our life. For the example of these stages, I will be explaining using grief in the way of the loss of our loved ones. (Including animals)

First is a 'Gut Punch/pain' then you go into the stages which are in no order and they do repeat, so give yourself grace because it's a process. This flows in waves and at times you feel and think your good and 'over it' and Boom! It can hit just like the 'gut punch' before. You will notice it is slightly less or now that you have experienced it before and get what those waves of emotions are they seem just a tad less intrusive.....

  • Gut Punch/pain - This needs its very own category/stage. When you first find out or hear about a death (especially a loved one/animal) The world stops in that moment and there is no other way I can really express what you feel other then a gut punch that takes you to your knees. No other stages really kick in until you have experienced this one. Some times its seconds, minutes and yes it can even take longer. It really depends on the person and the situation. 
12 Stages Of Grief

1) Shock/Disbelief

2) Denial

3) Guilt - Regret

4)Anger -Blaming

5) Bargaining

6) Depression- Loneliness

7) Resistance

8 ) Emotional upheaval

9)Testing -Reconstruction

10)Reflection-processing

11)Acceptance

12) Hope- New Normal- new way of being

I will break down each one in there own blog post. Please you are not alone and that what you are feeling is 'normal' and honour your feelings and allow yourself some grace with compassion. This is not an easy journey and know the deeps of your pain is the equal amounts of love you felt and you still do. It is all the unexpressed love, words, experiences, regrets & moments that were left ungiven. Your pain right now is the love you are wanting to share. And some of the deapest pains are also the unrevolved traumas, unspoken words, questions left unanswered and even the dedits unsettled. My intention here is for you to find some healing, some words that will hit that right spot to ease your pain and in such a gut punch experience maybe make a bit of sense in a situation that has left so many of us with so many unanswered questions. And really just saying WTF??? Why??? You are not alone, I will walk with you on this new pathway. 

With Love, grace & compassion

Phoenix Warrior

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