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Ruffling Feathers~(BLOG)

Ruffling Feathers~(BLOG)

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Stages Of Grief

Posted on 3 December, 2021 at 21:30 Comments comments (42)

Stages Of Grief

These are the stages of grief that from my own experience really need to be in their own stage and there is actually more than 5-7. On my journey, I have found that there are 12 and they ebb & flow in waves and you are never really done the grief process. You just learn a new normal and a new way of being after you experience grief. It profoundly changes you and sometimes you never realize it until years later. The one myth is 'Get over it that isn't true and actually that way of thinking will get you stuck in one or more of these stages of grief. Another myth is there is a time limit which I like to call "B.S" on that one. This is a personal experience that is yours and is your own personal one that I want you to remember is not right or wrong. As long as, you are doing your grief in a healthy healing way and process forward then you will get through this. Now let's go through the 12 stages of the grief journey.

Grief comes in all different ways that a lot of people associate it with a loss/death only, however, we deal with grief in so many other ways & other areas of our life. For the example of these stages, I will be explaining using grief in the way of the loss of our loved ones. (Including animals)

First is a 'Gut Punch/pain' then you go into the stages which are in no order and they do repeat, so give yourself grace because it's a process. This flows in waves and at times you feel and think your good and 'over it' and Boom! It can hit just like the 'gut punch' before. You will notice it is slightly less or now that you have experienced it before and get what those waves of emotions are they seem just a tad less intrusive.....

  • Gut Punch/pain - This needs its very own category/stage. When you first find out or hear about a death (especially a loved one/animal) The world stops in that moment and there is no other way I can really express what you feel other then a gut punch that takes you to your knees. No other stages really kick in until you have experienced this one. Some times its seconds, minutes and yes it can even take longer. It really depends on the person and the situation. 
12 Stages Of Grief

1) Shock/Disbelief

2) Denial

3) Guilt - Regret

4)Anger -Blaming

5) Bargaining

6) Depression- Loneliness

7) Resistance

8 ) Emotional upheaval

9)Testing -Reconstruction

10)Reflection-processing

11)Acceptance

12) Hope- New Normal- new way of being

I will break down each one in there own blog post. Please you are not alone and that what you are feeling is 'normal' and honour your feelings and allow yourself some grace with compassion. This is not an easy journey and know the deeps of your pain is the equal amounts of love you felt and you still do. It is all the unexpressed love, words, experiences, regrets & moments that were left ungiven. Your pain right now is the love you are wanting to share. And some of the deapest pains are also the unrevolved traumas, unspoken words, questions left unanswered and even the dedits unsettled. My intention here is for you to find some healing, some words that will hit that right spot to ease your pain and in such a gut punch experience maybe make a bit of sense in a situation that has left so many of us with so many unanswered questions. And really just saying WTF??? Why??? You are not alone, I will walk with you on this new pathway. 

With Love, grace & compassion

Phoenix Warrior

The Mother I never knew I loved....

Posted on 15 March, 2020 at 16:30 Comments comments (76)

What makes a mom?

What is the definition of a mom?


Because of my experience, my journey it was different then a lot of other people I know for me. However my mom taught me many things especially how to be the best mom I can be with the knowledge I learned. Mom was like a sister, a friend, and in later years became like my child that I needed to protect and care for.
My Grandma was my grandma but also took the place of a mother and we have a special bond.
Mom taught me true strength, courage, how to be brave and she never once complained about the cards that had been dealt to her. She really just rolled with it however she would have great facial expressions that would say it all.
The very best & profound advice she taught me was never say a mean thing to anyone, or something you can’t take back. You don’t know what the next moment will bring & you don’t want to live with regrets of something you can’t fix or change. Live in the moment, cherish your moments & never take things for granted.
My mom didn’t always know how special she was and how much she taught others about the important lessons of living a life to the fullest. Embrace life and live a life you love with no regrets with unconditional love.


Ms. Melina Lindsay
March 11-2017

Grief...Everyone will experience since no one is getting out alive!

Posted on 30 August, 2019 at 16:15 Comments comments (75)

Moments that we experiece throughout the giref process....

I had a moment today which is a very normal experience that maybe some don’t realize happens during the journey of grief. When you loose a loved one and you are learning a new normal with out them. I thought I would share it and maybe it will give someone a little comfort, or understanding or just that your fine & normal it happens. Today I had a lunch meeting with a couple of people. It was great and exciting things are being created. All good and great.

My moment was that afterwards I jumped in my Jeep and excited to share the news.....

So of course my first gut reaction was crap, I better hurry and race over to the ‘home’ before Grandmas dinner and tell her all about it and so she doesn’t give me crap for disrupting her supper lol. I stopped in my tracks, slapped my head...went oh man! What a blonde moment lol. Laughed a bit, cried a bit then called up my soul sister to tell her about my moment and we laughed at it with a little. Ohmygawd Melina your human after all. Lol, yep been a year and a half since she crossed over with the family. You never get over the loss of loved ones however you do learn to move forward, move through it on a new journey and learn new ways to live your life with them in a different way.

Celebrate your successes.

Embrace your cherished moments

Allow your emotions, feelings & know that these moments happen and find the humour in them that your human. And I know in that moment my Grandparents called me a few funny names for my moment lol!

Melina Lindsay Phoenix Warrior

Stand in your own power! Own it! You matter!

In love & light!


The 3 Roses

Posted on 14 March, 2019 at 14:15 Comments comments (1)




The 3 Roses

The gift I give to you is the gift I give to no other

The joy you bring to me is the joy no other has filled me with....

The Love I give to you brightens my day

The love you give to me brightens my life....

The single rose I give to you holds the single desire of my life to be yours....

The single rose you receive is a hope that you share my desire....

The second rose I give to you holds the second desire of my heart....

To be your best friend, held by you, comforted by you

and to walk beside you....

The second rose you receive is a hope that you will always walk beside me,

comfort me and be my best friend....

The third rose I hold out to you is the gift of my complete submission to you,

my power turned over to you....

The third rose you accept from me is your acceptance of my gift....

The gift I give freely without reservation

My life held by you and only for you!!




Essence Of Passion

Posted on 14 March, 2019 at 14:10 Comments comments (0)

Essence


Painfully beautiful in all her grace
she surrenders her sensuality for Me
My eyes pierce her inner soul with fires of passion
My hands have collared her heart with a warm embrace
Come My gently submissive love; kneel at My feet
her sensual radiance flows through My Dominance hand
I breathe your essence into My soul
Awaken your inner orchid wild and fierce
Spread your wings My little-one for your Mine
and you belong too ME for O/our essence have now embraced
kittygirl 10/28/2007 10:19 PM©


Can you hear a silent crash?

Posted on 14 March, 2019 at 14:05 Comments comments (102)

Can you hear a silent crash?
Her voice is soft and barely heard
Faint Smiles still in her heart
Eyes still sparkle in the joys of light
Not many see the deepest blues of sadness that drown in oceans of hurt
Soft tender touch is ever so needed only to awaken a bruised spirit
Her wings tightly bound unable to move
Heaven won't take her
And she slips silently unknowingly past Hell
Her whispers ever so soft they are never heard
Can you hear a silent crash?
Would you even care if you heard a silent crash?
MissingAngelDG/09/2007©

Reflection Of The Soul

Posted on 14 March, 2019 at 14:00 Comments comments (0)

In These pages you may find words that make you
Reflect on the mirror of our souls.
Someone once said, "How does it profit a man to have gained the whole world and lost his soul?"
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein
We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.
Max DePree
If you want to know your past - look into your present conditions.
If you want to know your future - look into your present actions.
Buddhist Saying
"We may not be responsible for all the things that happen to us, but we are responsible for the ways we react when they do happen."
"There's only one thing more painful than learning by experience and that is not learning from experience." (Barbara Johnson)
Integrity is doing the right thing at the right time for the right reasons, even though no one is looking.

 

Phoenix Warrior Academy - Thoughts

Posted on 14 March, 2019 at 14:00 Comments comments (0)

My set backs have been a set up for a comeback with a new Divine alignment. That out of the ashes my inner Goddess re-birth into the flames of a passion to rise again stronger & wiser in my transformation. I am my own champion. I am Invincible. I am unstoppable. I am unique diamond cut to last in the fires of ever lasting passion. Phoenix Intuitive Warrior, Ms. Melina Lindsay
"You can't be loyal to other people's expectations, or you will live your few days with regrets. " Ms. Melina Lindsay




 

Reflection Of The Soul

Posted on 24 January, 2018 at 19:25 Comments comments (0)

In These pages you may find words that make you
Reflect on the mirror of our souls.
Someone once said, "How does it profit a man to have gained the whole world and lost his soul?"

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.
Albert Einstein
We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are.
Max DePree
If you want to know your past - look into your present conditions.
If you want to know your future - look into your present actions.
Buddhist Saying
"We may not be responsible for all the things that happen to us, but we are responsible for the ways we react when they do happen."
"There's only one thing more painful than learning by experience and that is not learning from experience." (Barbara Johnson)
Integrity is doing the right thing at the right time for the right reasons, even though no one is looking.



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